...I got a sunburn from Hell

So, when you happen to go to Hawaii and a native tells you to put on sunscreen – for the love of God: put on sunscreen! Had to learn that the hard way.

It was the summer of 2014 and I was leaving Japan. But before heading home I decided to go to Hawaii. Honestly, when Mary (my BFF from Hawaii) suggested I come visit her when the semester ends I didn’t think I would actually do it. It seemed like such a wild and crazy idea (not to mention expensive) but the more I thought about it, the more I started to like the idea. Yes, it was crazy, and yes, it would be expensive, but I was certain it would be worth it.

So I bought the tickets, cried for a while, tried to get used to the idea of being a broke ass ho and went on with my life. July ended, it was time to leave Japan and before I knew it I was in Hawaii. You know how Estonians have the idea that Hawaii is basically paradise on Earth? Yeah, that’s pretty much how it is. Its warm, there are flowers and palm trees everywhere, the sun is shining, birds are singing and everything is so beautiful it takes your breath away. I almost cried when I got there. Not only because I felt like I’d died and gone to heaven but also because for the first time in a year I could understand everything people around me were saying. I could read the signs and labels in stores, I could talk to people without having to worry about misunderstanding them, I could buy stuff without mistaking it for something else. Everything was in English and it was glorious!

The first few days I was like a kid in a candy store. Everything was new and exciting and wonderful and I couldn’t believe I was actually there. We went to the beach every day – apparently that’s what people do on Hawaii... like, for real... One of these days me and Mary were hanging out on the beach just sunbathing, drinking beer and I, being the ghostly pale Estonian that I am, decided that sunscreen is for the weak. Besides, „I need to get som colour on my legs“.

„You sure? Cause you could get really bad sunburn here,“ said Mary with a worried look.

„Oh trust me, I never burn. I could sit in the sun for hours and still be as white as snow. My legs don’t need no sunscreen!“ I assured her confidently.

„Okay, if you’re sure... but don’t say I didn’t warn you.“

Mary would later go on to say that she knew I was going to learn the hard way... and I did. I really should’ve listened to her when she told me that the sun in Hawaii is something else. It really was...

I didn’t feel anything after getting home from the beach. Sure, my skin had a slight pink hue but other than that I felt fine. So imagine my suprise when I woke up the next morning, got out from under the blanket and discovered that my legs had morphed into two overcooked lobsters. Oh joy! Not only were they bright red but they burned like the fires of Hell. I could feel the heat radiating from my legs even without touching them. Well, touching them was almost impossible because the skin was sensitive as all hell. This was no mere sunburn – I had blisters all over my thighs. That’s a second degree burn. And the worst part? I was wearing shorts while sunbathing so it looked like I was wearing bright red stockings.

The sunburn was hellish. I couldn’t sleep for two days, my legs hurt like hell – not only the skin but also the muscles – and I looked like I’d forgotten to take off my stockings when going to the beach. It lasted for a few days, then the blisters broke and the top layer of my skin came off, the pain subsided and I was kind of okay again. Sure, I had a stupid looking tan but I was sure it would disappear in a few months.

It didn’t. It has lasted for a whole goddamn year. Every time I go to the pool or to a sauna I can see people staring at my legs thinking „why the hell is that girl wearing stockings to the pool?!“. I have the most moronic tan ever and I haven’t been able to get rid of it. Well, thank god I’m not gonna spend a lot of time on the beach this summer! Oh wait... I’m going to Hawaii again? Damn... Well, at least now I know better... hopefully.