...I really should have read the label

I think only one other person knows about this story so I decided to share it with everybody. Because I apparently love it when other people laugh at me.

When I arrived in Japan in September, 2013, it was hot. It was already the 9th or 10th (I forget) but it was hot as hell. I didn’t even notice it in the beginning – most likely because I was too tired to notice anything – but on the second day the heat got unbearable. And of course I realized that I’d forgotten my deodorant. Great! At first I thought it wouldn’t be too bad. I just had to move as little as possible and shower a lot. I could do that, right? Wrong!

It was 2 am on (technically) my third day in Japan. I had already taken like... 4-5 showers that day but as it got dark and I was still sweating like a pig I decided that something should be done. I couldn’t even sleep because I smelled like sweat! I felt sticky, disgusting and just plain bad. I realized that if I didn’t do anything I would be up for the entire night. Oh sure, I could’ve taken another shower (and I was planning to do that) but that would just mean I would get sweaty again in an hour or so. No, that wouldn’t work at all.

Thankfully there was a convenience store not too far from the apartment building and since I was up anyway I decided to go there and get some deodorant. I got dressed, headed to the store and (after 10 minutes of looking around) found what I was looking for: spray deodorant. There were three small bottles and the only difference was the color on the spray can. One was blue, one was pink and the last one was green. I got the green one because I assumed it would smell kind of neutral. I didn’t even bother to smell them beforehand but headed to the cashier and made my purchase.

Getting back to my room I took a quick cool shower, dried myself, got dressed and got the little spray can of deodorant out of the shopping bag. As I was spraying it into my armpits a single thought floated into my conciousness.

’This... doesn’t feel right...’

So I stopped spraying, took a good long look at the can and read the lable.

ヘアスプレー

Hairspray...

Okay then... I had just sprayed hairspray into my armpits... Well... It wasn’t the dumbest thing I had ever done but it was up there. See, if I had bothered to read the lable this situation could’ve been avoided. If I had just taken one good look at the spray-can I would not have mistaken it for deodorant. But it was late and I was disoriented and it was hot as hell so my brain was fried. Still... Hairspray... in my armpits... I guess I should’ve been happy that it wasn’t insecticide.

Strangely enough the hairspray kind of worked. I didn’t sweat as profusely as before (or at least I didn’t smell like it anymore) and I slept like a baby afterward. Nobody ever questioned why there was an almost full can of hairspray in my room. Maybe nobody noticed... or if they did they thought it was only natural for a woman to have hairspray in her room – never mind the fact that I never used hairspray after that one time.

So the moral of the story is: always read the lable first before you buy something. Also, whenever you feel stupid just think ’It could always be worse - at least I’ve never sprayed hairspray into my armpits’ and I promise you won’t feel as dumb anymore.