You know, sometimes I feel like I have some rare sort of speech disorder where people understand everything that's coming out of my mind but they don't understand what I'm saying. Like the idea of what I'm saying just refuses to enter their minds. Is it me? Is there something about the way I put sentences together that just... makes their brains reject the main point of what I'm saying? Or do they just not care? I'm starting to think it's the latter. Just a fair warning: this isn't so much a memory I'm relating as it is an angry rant based on several memories. So if you hate people whining about pointless stuff... you're most likely a regular sane person. Also, this post might not be for you.
I studied psychology for three years. Got my BA (because in Estonia psychology is an art) and got accepted into the Master's program. I quit soon after but that's a whole different story. The one thing I learned from psychology is that people keep making the same mistakes over and over again and there's nothing you can do to stop them. It's like they love stepping on the same damn rake even though they know it'll hit them in the face. Reminds me of that one Simpsons' episode where Sideshow Bob finds himself in a field of rakes and keeps stepping on them one after the other, trying to get out. Why doesn't he go the other way? Good question! Why don't you people ever go the other way?!
I'm not talking about all of you but I'm sure there are plenty of people reading this that have stepped on the same rake countless of times, even though there's a way around it - even if you don't want to admit it. Hell, sometimes I feel like there are some people who purposely look for a rake to step on, even when there are none in the immediate vicinity. Every time they step on a rake and get hit in the face they realize what has happened... and then go on and step on another rake just for good measure. Because maybe, one day they will step on a rake and not get hit in the face by the shaft. Hey, here's an idea: stop stepping on rakes! That's a great way not to get hurt! I can't tell you how many times I've warned someone about a rake being right in front of them and still see them stepping on it without a care in the world. It's frustrating to say the least. And I admit that I've done the same in the past but at least I know that it's happening and I'm trying to avoid it.
I guess one of the reasons I didn't pursue a Master's in psychology was the fact that I got so frustrated with people making the same mistakes over and over again. I saw my friends and family do it and I couldn't imagine seeing it every day at work as well. Would've been too much. So I decided a change was in order and decided to go for physiotherapy. Because people listen to physiotherapists, right?
I guess I've found my 'rake'. I keep thinking that if I know what I'm talking about people will take my advice into account. Nope. They don't. They just do not care. And yet they keep asking me.
'Hey, Grete, should I go running tonight?'
'Ummm... considering you got stabbed an hour ago and you've lost a lot of blood I'm going to say that it's a horrible idea. Probably the worst you've ever had.'
'Yeah, but what if I drink a lot of water? And I've just eaten. And I'll take some snacks with me.'
'Still doesn't change the fact that you just got stabbed.'
'Oh, come on! What's the worst that could happen?'
'You'll die?'
'But what if I take it real slow and stop as soon as I feel bad?'
'You're still gonna die! Your guts are hanging out of the gaping would in your belly!'
'But what if-'
'You WILL DIE! This is a horrible idea and it WILL KILL YOU!'
'Oh, okay then.'
'...........you're still going to go running, am I right?'
'I just think you're being overly dramatic. I'll be fine, you'll see.'
And then they die!
Okay, I know I'm being waaaaaay too dramatic here but this is what it feels like. I tell someone that they are about to do something horrible. I explain why it's such a horrible idea. I present them with facts. I encourage them to abandon their idea. And I can see them hearing my words but not truly understanding them. Why is that? It was the same when I was studying psychology and people came to me with relationship problems or emotional issues. I tried not to give advice (because that's not what you should do) but to make them see the patterns in their behavior and maybe try to change them. Never worked. Even if they saw the patterns they refused to change anything. They made the same choices, the same mistakes that they'd made so many times before and things didn't work out... because they never had before. You know what the definition of insanity is? A deranged state of mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia); such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status or transaction or as to remove one from criminal or social responsibility. Honestly, if I hear that dumbass quote about 'doing the same thing and expecting blahblahblah' I will punch someone in the face! That is NOT the definition of insanity! Get a dictionary!
My point being: it seems that no matter what I tell people, they will always do whatever they think is right and get hurt in the process. Is it me? Am I just that non-authoritative that people just assume I have no idea what I'm talking about? I do, I swear! I've studied this! I know what I'm talking about! But hey, you read this tiny paragraph in some sketchy magazine so I guess you know best.
So why am I even talking about this now? I don't know, I guess I just needed to vent. Needed to get this off my chest before I explode. I chose physiotherapy thinking I wouldn't have to deal with people stepping on rakes and I got a job dealing with people who have stepped on rakes both literally and metaphorically. But I guess that's what you get when you work with people in general. Everybody thinks they know best and they don't want to hear anybody telling them they're wrong. Or that they can't do something they really want to. Or that they have to do something they don't want to. I guess I'll just keep stepping on my very own rake and try to make them see that I actually know what I'm on about. But at least I have a good excuse for doing so: it's my job and I'm actually trying to help. That'll let me sleep at night.
I guess one of the reasons I didn't pursue a Master's in psychology was the fact that I got so frustrated with people making the same mistakes over and over again. I saw my friends and family do it and I couldn't imagine seeing it every day at work as well. Would've been too much. So I decided a change was in order and decided to go for physiotherapy. Because people listen to physiotherapists, right?
I guess I've found my 'rake'. I keep thinking that if I know what I'm talking about people will take my advice into account. Nope. They don't. They just do not care. And yet they keep asking me.
'Hey, Grete, should I go running tonight?'
'Ummm... considering you got stabbed an hour ago and you've lost a lot of blood I'm going to say that it's a horrible idea. Probably the worst you've ever had.'
'Yeah, but what if I drink a lot of water? And I've just eaten. And I'll take some snacks with me.'
'Still doesn't change the fact that you just got stabbed.'
'Oh, come on! What's the worst that could happen?'
'You'll die?'
'But what if I take it real slow and stop as soon as I feel bad?'
'You're still gonna die! Your guts are hanging out of the gaping would in your belly!'
'But what if-'
'You WILL DIE! This is a horrible idea and it WILL KILL YOU!'
'Oh, okay then.'
'...........you're still going to go running, am I right?'
'I just think you're being overly dramatic. I'll be fine, you'll see.'
And then they die!
Okay, I know I'm being waaaaaay too dramatic here but this is what it feels like. I tell someone that they are about to do something horrible. I explain why it's such a horrible idea. I present them with facts. I encourage them to abandon their idea. And I can see them hearing my words but not truly understanding them. Why is that? It was the same when I was studying psychology and people came to me with relationship problems or emotional issues. I tried not to give advice (because that's not what you should do) but to make them see the patterns in their behavior and maybe try to change them. Never worked. Even if they saw the patterns they refused to change anything. They made the same choices, the same mistakes that they'd made so many times before and things didn't work out... because they never had before. You know what the definition of insanity is? A deranged state of mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia); such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status or transaction or as to remove one from criminal or social responsibility. Honestly, if I hear that dumbass quote about 'doing the same thing and expecting blahblahblah' I will punch someone in the face! That is NOT the definition of insanity! Get a dictionary!
My point being: it seems that no matter what I tell people, they will always do whatever they think is right and get hurt in the process. Is it me? Am I just that non-authoritative that people just assume I have no idea what I'm talking about? I do, I swear! I've studied this! I know what I'm talking about! But hey, you read this tiny paragraph in some sketchy magazine so I guess you know best.
So why am I even talking about this now? I don't know, I guess I just needed to vent. Needed to get this off my chest before I explode. I chose physiotherapy thinking I wouldn't have to deal with people stepping on rakes and I got a job dealing with people who have stepped on rakes both literally and metaphorically. But I guess that's what you get when you work with people in general. Everybody thinks they know best and they don't want to hear anybody telling them they're wrong. Or that they can't do something they really want to. Or that they have to do something they don't want to. I guess I'll just keep stepping on my very own rake and try to make them see that I actually know what I'm on about. But at least I have a good excuse for doing so: it's my job and I'm actually trying to help. That'll let me sleep at night.
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